On June 10th David Pink was abducted by persons unknown, but has since been returned virtually unharmed; save his ego. The kidnapping went un-investigated by law enforcement, which bids the question: Who done it? Speculation on the identities of Pink’s captors were many, but ultimately it wasn’t until 5 days later that a criminal organization… Read More The Hive Strikes…Again?
▲ hey, winnie, how do i make myself, look more not japanese, without becoming or horse, or norway?, i am only half, and have grey eyes, One Who Enjoys Commas, What kind of bloody question is this? Are you saying people who are not Japanese look like horses? You should be proud of your heritage… Read More Dear Winnie 6/14/19
In the wee hours of Tuesday morning, the front windows of The Juniper Times were vandalized. At approximately 2:30am, the words ” Winnie, Winnie, Winnie ” were scrawled over the glass by way of red spray paint, the culprit being so bold as to gesture towards the building’s cameras in such a way that some… Read More Vandal Hits Juniper Times HQ
Aries: March 21st – April 19th Your ruler Mars is in Cancer this month, so you should focus on matters of home, family, and emotional and financial security. On June 3, a Gemini new moon opens the door for new information and conversations. You can have what you need – perhaps what you want –… Read More Horoscopes for June
▲ Dear Winnie, My boyfriend got me pregnant. We are crazy madly CRAZY, emphasis on the crazy, in love with each other. Everything is great but… he won’t bring me cheese. I’m sick and pregnant and in bed DYING OVER HERE and the baby needs food, specifically cheese. He won’t go get it. Is he… Read More Dear Winnie,
This past Sunday seemed to be an eventful one in terms of crime in the city of Juniper, one of the local Fire Department’s Chiefs falling victim to a kidnapping. TJT’s Pharin Wilde sat down with Chief James Renfold, Co-Chief of the department to ask him questions in terms of the details of… Read More Fire Chief Renfold Home Safe After Kidnapping
This past Sunday, a van delivering several arcade-style gaming cabinets was in route from M374G4M3 when it was robbed at gunpoint by four masked individuals. The van contained a few cabinets, ones that the bar/lounge replaced with newer games. The heist took place during the Municipal Pool Party that took place… Read More Powergame Express Van Heist
Sometime before midnight Sunday, chaos would ensue as a bright pink Porsche hurled itself through the window of Juniper’s Drive-In Diner. Unfortunately, the diner itself was occupied by both staff and patrons alike. Those just trying to enjoy a late-night meal stared in horror as the over-priced luxury sportscar plummeted through the establishment.… Read More Drive-In Diner Destruction
The Flamingo Lounge hosted their grand opening Saturday evening. The location was a sight to behold, pastel neon lights casting their pale glow even as far out as the street in front of the club. Those who entered the venue were met by the the hard-hitting tunes of DJ Vicus, who spent the… Read More Music and Madness
The Juniper Chamber of Commerce hosted a pool party in the early afternoon hours Saturday. The event itself was hosted at Lady Luck , taking place at it’s rooftop pool. The get-together drew in many of the city’s citizens, but in this instance David Pink was the guest of note. David… Read More David Pink Shows His Ass…Literally.
The Juniper Times 